FEELING GUILTY?

Don't be so hard on yourself...

By Cathy Spalding
www.gentlespiritllamas.com
www.gentlespiritalpacas.com

A most wonderful "Ah-Ha" epiphany continues to shout loud and clear each year as I travel across North America presenting my behavior and training clinics. This sudden "I've got it!" moment is the realization we can learn to trust ourselves, we all know more than we think we do, our intuitions can be trusted and one magic key does not open all doors.

What Am I Doing Wrong?

Seems we are fearful and worried that we might be "messing up" - or going to "mess up" -- if we do not things the "right" way with our alpacas and llamas. We worry that our relationship with them will be in jeopardy. If one does not or cannot follow the strict a, b, c's of a particular approach or method, is that ok? What if we must make up something right there on the spot for success in a particular instance? Is that wrong? Are we then guilty of not knowing what we are doing; are we actually "messing up?" How often does the notion "this isn't working therefore I must be doing everything wrong" creep into our minds? Seems all that frustration and uncertainty can then metamorphous into not doing the best we can for our alpacas and llamas, feeling they won't like us, we're failing them. and becoming immobile with guilt and inadequacy.

Musing for a moment. how is it that any particular training method comes about? How are things realized, formulated and refined as a training technique? Does it come to us in the nighttime? Do we just wake up one morning and "know" what to do... know what is the"best way... the "right way... know what will always work in any given situation? Are trainers simply gifted? Sometimes. However, I submit that most of the time it does not happen quite that way. The art of becoming a true teacher requires remaining a true student simultaneously. To be a true teacher requires an open mind, imagination, close observation, kindness and honor in approach and the willingness to continue learning. A true teacher does not know all the answers. who does? As both teacher and student, one must leave behind the notion of right and wrong realizing that each of our animals can be individual in their notions and reactions. realizing humans can be as well. What works great for the majority might not work at all for a minority. Keeping an open mind, a true teacher sifts and sorts and combines their knowledge with that of many other teachers, participants and peers. Through teaching yet remaining a student, one can continue to grow becoming better and better in their own personal skills as well as in the sharing of those skills as a teacher/trainer. Truly honoring the knowledge and wisdom shared by my many teachers, I've also learned many things from participants and their animals. It happens, too, that through instances where something simply did not work or by accidentally dropping something or just becoming entangled trying to attach a lead rope, one inadvertently stumbles upon an idea that with some additional thought and refinement works great. And here you thought you had "messed up!"

Cathy teaching behavior and training at Cornell University Veterinary School in Ithaca, New York

So how do we decide what to do? What if the approach we select doesn't work? Could there a number of possible approaches to the specific issue? Is there only one right approach or can there be several that may have the potential for success? What information could be helpful in making that educated decision? While experience is a great teacher, even experienced ones must consider a number of things before simply applying a technique or method. Amidst a number of considered questions depending upon the circumstance, it is important to know basic behavioral cues for alpacas and llamas, age of the animal, the history/background, to assess halter fit, any medical issues, the surroundings and observe the animal in action.

Communication Is A Two-Way Street

Alpacas and llamas are communicating with us all the time. They are keen observers of their environment and as do we all, they adapt to their environment. They are in constant communication with each other as well as with their human caretakers. I smile to consider that we humans seem much less skilled as both observers and communicators. The alpacas and llamas are quite clear. We often seem muddled and confused. Working with them, it is clear they express certain ideas about this or that and the way we are doing it. What are we expressing in return? Are our own bodies communicating anything understandable - even to ourselves? Understanding communication through our own body positioning is a key element.

(See the article "Positioning" for a complete description of this key element)

First time shearing made easy!

Before beginning, observe, ask questions and think through a possible approach and how best to communicate that through your own body. If using positioning and the alpaca or llama will not balance when you are in the normal balance position, use your intuition. often a step forward or a step backward will be the comfortable balance point for that animal. Have you deviated from the stated place to be for balance between you and your animal? Yes, you have. Was it wrong to do so? Absolutely not! It is important we honor our own knowledge in working with basic training approaches and feel free to alter them if needed.

A Case In Point

As an example, I am often hired by farm and ranch owner's nation wide to do private work with them and their animals. During the course of the day at one particular large alpaca ranch, I was presented with four alpacas having serious kicking issues. Through observation and asking questions, it appeared the first two alpacas were of the more typical reaction. They simply did not care to nor were they used to having their legs touched. In this instance, a number of varied "leg" training approaches or techniques would likely be of success. The third alpaca had had a leg injury. Though it was long since healed, the trauma-drama this alpaca associated with it remained. In this instance, it was particularly important to consider this alpaca's point of view. Would it work perhaps to apply one of the "leg" training techniques? Could we work with the three other legs hoping he might be more settled by the time we got to the fourth? Would one just proceed and feel the alpaca was unreasonable - just get over it? Would it be wrong or ill advised to make modifications to a particular approach or design your own approach for this particular alpaca? What might you do? We felt this alpaca was reasonable to still hold some concern around humans handling his formally injured leg. We modified our approach in ways we hoped would work better in this instance. The fourth alpaca appeared tense and quite nervous. He kicked at everyone and everything that came near him. Our observations combined with his history, behavioral cues and his positioning provided a clear answer. Do not work with his legs at all. His kicking was a very clear response to social crowding. The solutions were to move him to a larger area, make his current area larger or reduce the number of alpaca boys in his current area. With the enlargement of his personal space, he simply stopped kicking.

Understanding Behavior, Understading Intent

Alpacas and llamas understand behavior. They must -- their survival may depend upon it. A component in understanding behavior is an understanding of intent. Intent is an aim, a purpose, or state of mind at the time of an action. Alpacas and llamas must understand behavior and intent. They must know if the puma is stalking or just passing through. They seem to possess that same understanding of intent in relationship to humans. Walking through the barn with a long 2 x 6 over my shoulder, my husband calls to me. Not thinking, I whip around to answer with that board still on my shoulder smacking two llamas. Fortunately the alpaca right there was shorter and I just clipped her ears. All three backed up somewhat blinking their eyes in disbelief. I was beside myself with apology and they never felt to leave the area. When I came through again with the next 2 x 6, you can be sure that they were on guard hoping that I would, indeed, keep my mind on what I was doing. However, everyone felt comfortable enough to continue to lay about the barn. Had I gone out to the barn with a 2 x 6 with the intent of smacking them, you can be sure they would have all left the barn in a hurry when I came back in with another board. They understand intent. I smile to add they clearly understand intent when we want to trim toenails!

Earning Their Trust

Our job is to earn the trust of our alpacas and llamas. It is not their job to blindly trust. That trust builds each day as we become more observant, more aware and remain consistent in our own behavior. They know who we are. We have shown them while we are mowing the lawn, playing with the dog or having a barbeque on the deck with friends and family. They do not observe us only when we walk into the barn or through the gate into their pasture. If your normal individual behavior is to move quickly, notice the change in your animals when you slow way down. How about those of us who normally move a bit slower? Should we rush about, somehow the herd usually feels the veterinarian is in route! When we do innocently "mess up" now and again (and we will!), it is truly ok. They know we are only human and after all, humans aren't perfect!

Wisdom is meaningless until our own experience has given it meaning.

Bergen Evans

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